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A Mother's Sacrifice
I have often been asked how I could leave loved ones behind in pursuit of my so called happiness and I always answered this question as I have always done which is simple. I just did it. Not that I want to but had to”. And then comes the part where we always have a choice in life. How true except that when we are not living the situation in itself, how easy it is said when we are the ones living the moment and then there is not much left for us to choose from.
People often pass judgement easily before they even know you or understand the situation and most of the time very callously I must say . It is always easier said than done of course. People really need to place themselves in the same predicament before they can actually fully fathom the situation. But I don't blame them for having thinking the way they do because we are after all just human beings with our very own individual mind set. That's what makes us all different.
For me, leaving my loved ones behind and being very far away from them have been a constant battle of conscience. Not a day goes by when I don't think of them or miss them incessantly. There have even been days when I have indeed contemplated the worse of the worse and when my guilt became incredibly overbearing, but it would all fade away when I imagine them with their pretty petite Chinese eyes all squinted and a small smile spread across their faces and my guilt just somehow vanishes and all those outrageous thoughts dissipates into thin air. It is amazing, just how these little insignificant expressions can alter ones thinking.
So my reason for my decisions and actions that I have taken is for the good for all. In fact, I have grown in so many ways since I left and in fact has made me a much stronger person physically, emotionally and mentally. I have regained my strength, my self confidence and I am a much more motivated person in more ways than I could have imagined. I am no longer feeble or pitiful but rather, vibrant and robust just as I have always been before I ventured to the other side of the world and allowed myself become otherwise. For others, they may see all this as nothing more than a pitiful excuse for my actions. For me, this is just the beginning...
To me having done what I did was for the best interest for my loved ones. Many would probably beg to differ. Had I remained in the situation I have lived for the past years I would have not come this far. My loved ones interest have always been a top priority and will always be till the day I go six feet under. Not even the distance will be a deterrent if I keep with the consistency and perseverance. I am certain that with time, all will fall into its respective place, it's just a matter of where and when.
The outcome of this is, a mother's unconditional love and sacrifice, who is just hoping that one day she will eventually see the light shining brightly at the end of the tunnel for her loved ones who had to be left behind. Unfortunately for me, all these comes with a steep price,...sad but true!
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